"Alright, last one," I mumble to myself as I pick up my last survey sheet for the night. I've been entering data for the past hour and a half and my brain feels like it's going to melt out of my head. But finally, I am done! Let's just hope my plans for the rest of the evening don't fall through. Again.
If I sound bitter, it's because I've barely seen Lance at all in the past two weeks. His classes have gotten busier, he's been paranoid about his weight so he's been hitting the gym more, and when I have seen him, he leaves early. I had dinner with him four days ago, and he wouldn't even sleepover. I'm not trying to sound paranoid, but I'm starting to get a little worried that something is wrong.
'Hey boy, just finished working. See you soon?' I fire off the text to Lance, confirming that we are still going to see a movie a little later.
'Hey, actually, can you come to my dorm in a little?' The response comes a few minutes later.
'Sure, everything okay?' I mean, I'm not gonna complain about getting to see him earlier.
'Just wanna talk.' Hrmm. The T word gives me the willies.
'Okay, see you in like twenty?' Just need to throw on some clothes and walk over.
'See you then.' I nod to myself and get dressed.
It's an uneventful walk to the dorms. There's a game happening tonight, so most of the students are down at the arena. As I get near the building, I see someone walk outside - Dave! I wave to him, though he doesn't seem to notice me, and ends up walking in the other direction. Oh well, maybe Lance and I can get some alone time.
Lance lets me inside after knocking, and I pull him in for a hug once the door is closed behind me.
"Missed you, boy." I kiss him on the top of the head.
"It's good to see you." Lance hugs me back, maybe a little longer than usual.
"So you said you wanted to talk about something?" I release my boy and take a seat on his bed.
"Yes," Lance paces a little before coming to a stop and facing me. "You know how I've been so busy lately, with school, and the wrestling team, and everything?"
"Yeah..." The pacing and the subject matter make me bristle. "I mean, I've barely seen you in weeks."
"Yeah, I know. Those things are making me crazy busy. But the thing is, I don't see me being any less busy with them anytime soon, and I just..." Lance looks at the floor. "I think maybe we should stop seeing each other."
"... What?" My mouth goes totally dry. Please tell me I heard that wrong.
"I think we should break up." My heart sinks as he confirms what he just said.
"I... I don't understand. Why? What happened?" Maybe I sound a little pathetic, but wasn't everything between us going well?
"I just told you, classes, and the team." He's still looking at the floor. He's not telling me something.
"Lance, if it's because you're busy we can figure something out, I don't-"
"This just isn't what I wanted, okay!" He snaps and finally looks at me, his fists balled up at his sides.
"... It's not?" I don't understand.
"It was fun at first." He's back to staring at the floor. "But...the more people find out, the more stressed out I get. I just...want to focus on some other things right now."
"Oh." So it is something I did. Several somethings. "I... I'm sorry."
"It's not..." He can't even finish that because it is my fault. I pushed things too far. Freaked him out, like I have with every other boy. Fuck.
After sitting in silence for what feels like hours, I finally stand up from his bed. "I... I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I never meant to... I really do love you, Lance." My voice cracks as I finish the sentence.
"I...I know." Wow, that hurt more than I expected it to.
"I'll, um, see you around, I guess." I make my way towards the door. I can't... I have to get out of this room.
"Yeah, uh, I can give you back--"
"Keep it. Whatever it is...I don't want it back." I don't need any reminders of yet another failed relationship hanging around. I let myself out, fighting the urge to look back.
It's a numb, silent walk back to the frat house. One which is accompanied by an endless replay of all the ways I fucked things up. Barcodes. The frat party. The locker room. Okay, that last one was Lance's idea, but he probably only did it because he felt he had to keep up with me. Fuck.
The place is mostly empty, most of the guys are still at the game, which means I don't have to talk to anyone on my way back to my room. I shut the door behind me, leaning against it and looking around my room at all the things that remind me of Lance. The things we did together. The things we'll never do again.
I walk to my dresser and open up my toy drawer, pulling out a box I've been keeping inside for a few weeks now. I open it and pull out the contents: a shiny sterling silver chain. I let the cool metal pool in my hand, my eyes drawn to the lock at the end of it. Shiny and polished, with Lance's initials engraved on the front, and mine on the back.
I walk to and hover over my garbage can, my hand outstretched. I'd only just gotten it, and wasn't exactly sure when I would be giving it to him. Looks like never. I hold the chain over the can... Fuck. I step back to my dresser and open a drawer, throwing the chain inside. I can't bring myself to toss it, but I also can't stand to see it.
I sit on my bed, and finally let myself cry. And it's an ugly fucking cry. My face quickly turns into a snotty wet mess. I wipe my nose on my sleeve, before just taking the whole shirt off and wiping my face with that. I ball it up and toss it in the corner, strip off my pants, and turn out the lights.
Fuck being conscious right now. Things will get easier with time. I hope.
"I still just miss him so fucking much."
"Of course you do, John. It's only been like two weeks." Brady consoles me from his side of the bar for the dozenth time. He, like many of my friends over the last two weeks, has been on the receiving end of my depressed ramblings. They've all probably heard me tell the same sad story several times by now. Not once have any of them complained though.
"I just thought everything was going so well." I've run everything through in my head. It still doesn't make sense to me. "But I fucked it up again with my weird shit."
"Hey, man," Brady adopts the 'I'm not going to let you talk about yourself that way' tone. "First, your 'stuff' isn't that weird, I mean look around. And second, I know you. You do your due diligence. If you thought he was ready for something, I trust your judgment."
"I dunno man." I finish off my beer and pass it over the bar. "I just keep thinking about what he said."
"People don't always mean what they say when they're feeling emotional." He pops the top off another beer before sliding it over to me. "Which is why this is your last beer."
"What! Come on, I've had like, two." I'd been here for an hour, he's already cutting me off.
"Yes, but I'm a bartender," he crosses his arms, "and I know that sadness and alcohol rarely lead to anything good. And you are my friend."
"Fuck you." I grouse, not serious at all. "Thanks."
"Anytime, man." Brady smiles before moving over to take care of someone else for a minute.
I sip my beer and turn in my chair to look over the rest of the bar. It's full, but not crowded tonight. That normally makes for a pretty good night if you're trying to pick somebody up. Not sure why I decided to come here though. I'm certainly not looking.
"Sir?" I hear the voice just as I turn around to give poor Brady another earful.
"Oh, hey boy." It's Dave. I haven't seen him since...yeah. I stand to give him a hug. "How are you?"
"I'm good, how are..." He trails off for obvious reasons. "Sorry."
"It's okay." I give a smile so he knows I mean it. I'm probably going to regret this next question though. "...How is he?"
"Honestly?" His face looks troubled. "I'm not really sure. I haven't seen a whole lot of him lately."
"He did say he was getting really busy with stuff." That was the initial excuse, at least.
"I do know he's going to the gym more," Dave shrugs. "But a lot of the time I'm not sure where he is. Comes in late a lot. Couple of times he's left in the middle of the night."
"That's...weird." Not gonna speculate on what he might be doing. That's not going to lead to anything good. "But anyway. I'm glad you're doing good. What brings you out tonight?"
"Actually, I was supposed to meet up with this guy I've been hooking up with and his two roommates. All three of them are in a D/s thing." Dave smiles a little sheepishly.
"Oh, that's cool." The boy can't drink so I had a pretty good idea of what he was here for, and I'm sure that group is a lot of fun.
"Yeah, but they had to cancel." He frowns. "Their sub ended up throwing up."
"Gross." Stomach bugs are never fun. "Sorry, boy."
"I'll be fine," he shrugs. "What about you? Why are you out tonight?"
"I... honestly have no idea." I look around the bar again and nurse my beer. "Just didn't wanna sit at home I guess."
"It's good to see you again." He offers a smile. "I honestly wasn't sure if I would, after everything. Sorry for just running off that day. Lance told me what he was gonna do and I just didn't know what to do...what I'd say."
"It's totally cool, I probably would have done the same thing." My old roomie Carlos actually once dumped a girl while I was still in the room with them. Uncomfortable is putting it lightly.
"Still," Dave nods his head to the side. "After Lance told me, I was pretty sure I wasn't gonna ever see you again."
"Yeah, can't say I will be going near the dorms anytime soon." I nod back. "Probably be a little too weird for both of us still."
"Have you talked to him at all?" Dave almost sounds hopeful.
"No, can't say I have." Brady catches my eye behind the bar. "Though I have been doing nothing but talking about him lately. How are you? What's your major anyway?"
The standard go-to question when you're first meeting people in college. Dave seems thankful for the subject change and smiles. "Sports medicine."
"Oh, cool." Lance was an athletic administration major, though he never seemed terribly interested in... Nope! Not thinking or talking about him right now! "What do you wanna do when you graduate?"
"What I really wanna do is become an athletic therapist or trainer to a major league sports team." Dave moves his head to one side, then the other. "Of course I could always end up stuck working at an Equinox or something if I'm not careful."
I snort at his joke. "God, I hope not."
"Hey, me too." Dave gestures to himself. "I'm not interested in helping moms named Karen take beginners yoga. But with the job that I actually want? The pay would be great, I'd get to travel a lot..."
"You'd get to feel up all those professional atheletes..." I finish his sentence.
"The male body is an instrument, and I must play it." Dave wiggles his fingers and I laugh again. "What about you?"
"I was a psychology major." I'm being pedantic. "I'm a grad student now, still psychology, working on my thesis."
"Oooo, what's that?" That is a question I usually dread from strangers. And my parents.
"It's kink related, actually." Lucky for me, Dave isn't a stranger. "Okay, so you know how people tend to think that people like us are just a bunch of degenerates who do nothing but fuck all day?"
"I'm...familiar with the concept." Dave looks at me a little skeptically, but he's still smiling.
"Well, I happen to think that's not true." I know I sound like I'm stating something profound, but let me finish. "I think that being more open and honest with yourself about the things you like actually does the opposite. I think being in touch with that side of yourself results in a person being happier, more confident, and more successful in life. And I'm going to prove it." Damn, I might need to use that in my thesis defense.
"Wow." Dave looks impressed. "How are you going to do that?"
"By getting hundreds of people to answer a bunch of questions." Less impressed. "I know, seems kinda boring."
"No! I just didn't know how that worked, I guess." He's worried I'm offended, but I'm not, so I smile and sip my beer. "Can I help? I'll answer questions."
"If I had met you last semester, maybe." That's when I was still working on the pilot survey, so the results didn't actually matter. "But because I know you now, it would be unethical to have you take the survey. People on the outside might look at it and say you skewed your answers on purpose to support the study."
"Ah, crap." He looks disappointed. "Is there anything else I could do?"
"Actually, if you have any friends, or old hookups of yours who you think are kinky and would be willing to answer some questions about it, send 'em my way." Oh boy, that sounds like I'm asking for something else entirely. "Make it clear what it's for though."
"Sure!" He nearly chirps. "I can think of a few guys actually who I think might be up for that."
"Thanks, boy." I reach over and ruffle his hair. I polish off my beer, and as I turn put my empty on a nearby counter, I feel a timid hand grab my cock through my jeans.
"Is there...anything else I could help you with, Sir?" Dave is trying not to seem anxious, but I can feel his hand trembling slightly. He's worried he crossed a line.
"That depends on what you're offering." I don't move his hand. "I'm not looking for another boy right now..."
"Oh god, no." Dave waves his hands in front of him. "I didn't mean it like that at all. I just thought, since I know things have been rough lately, and we already know each other... I could make myself useful to you, Sir." He puts his hands by his side. "I totally understand if you aren't interested."
I consider the offer for a moment. From the nervous look on his face, I can tell he means it. Looks like he's scared I'm gonna rip his head off. I'm not. It has been a while, just me and old lefty the past few weeks. And Dave's a good boy. With a nice ass. Why the hell not?
"Alright, boy." I nod towards the door to the patio. "Lead the way."
"Yes, Sir." The relief is almost instant, Dave's smile immediately brightening before he turns and leads me out the back door of the bar.
We get the usual amount of knowing stares and sly smiles as we shuffle through the small crowd outside. Only one of the booths is occupied, and I'm not feeling like having an audience, so my hand on Dave's shoulder guides him towards the booth in the far back. Once there, I walk in and lean against the wall.
"Get my dick out." I look down at my fly, and then at Dave expectedly. Never had the chance to use this boy much before, so let's see what he can do.
"Yes, Sir." Dave sinks to his knees in front of me, one hand going to my fly and the other my zipper. No belt tonight because maaaaybe I've been eating my feelings the past two weeks and don't need one at the moment.
"Mmmm," I moan as I feel the warm mouth wrapping around me. Right to the point, nothing wrong with that.
Dave holds me in his mouth, gently suckling my now-hardening cock. I'm still soft enough that he can fit the whole thing inside, and he slowly runs his tongue along the length. Soon enough though, my fat cock grows, leaving Dave with only half my length still in his mouth. He seems pretty determined to fix that.
This boy can suck a dick, goddamn. He's deep throating me like it's nothing, sliding up and down the full length of my dick every time. He's not even using his hands, except to hold onto and massage my nutsack. It feels amazing.
I relax against the wall as he works my knob, head falling back with eyes closed. This is nice. I used to come out here when I was still an undergrad and get my dick sucked just like this every Friday. Boys just like Dave here were practically lining up to get a taste of my dick. Maybe I should start making that a regular thing again.
With that little boost to my self-confidence, I open my eyes, reaching a hand out to grab Dave by the hair. I use my grip to slow his motion while pushing my hips forward. I'm letting Dave know that I'm ready to take over. He catches on quick enough and comes to a stop, while I force the remaining inches of my cock into his throat.
"Good boy," I praise as I hold Dave's head against my crotch. There's no struggle, and I wait a few moments before pulling back. Then it's time to start fucking his face.
My strokes are long and slow at first, pulling out until I can feel Dave's tongue on my cockhead, before plunging back in down to the base and holding him there. Dave is a pro and doesn't gag once. I start snapping my hips faster, and I'm impressed by how well he takes it.
I tangle one of my hands in his hair and pull, eliciting a whimper from Dave that's almost drowned out by cock. I use my grip to hold him in place while I pump my hips. His eyes are shut, and he's holding his own hands behind his back. He wants me to use him and I am more than happy to.
"You like that, boy?" I tug his hair back and pull back, removing myself from his mouth so he can answer.
"Yes, sir," Dave breathes heavily, his eyes trained on my cock.
"Good." I slam back into his mouth, pressing him down all the way before I start to really use his mouth. Now that I know he can take it, I don't hold back, fucking his face at a much quicker pace then before. I barely remove even half of my dick from his mouth when I pull back, and each push back inside is accompanied by a nice 'glug' from Dave's throat.
I go at this for a few minutes. Shit, I'm pretty sure if I keep this up, pretty soon I'll be cumming right down his throat. Might have to remember that for another time. I also wouldn't mind just kicking back one day and sticking this boy between my legs and letting him go to work for an hour or two, but for now... I lean over him and eye his ass hungrily.
"Your ass up for some fucking?" I tug Dave off my dick, planting his face against my balls while he catches his breath.
"Yeth, thir." I feel his tongue lolling out of his mouth, bathing my sack.
"Good." I pull Dave to his feet and push him against the wall, covering his mouth with mine. He moans into my mouth as I kiss him, and I can taste my own cock on his breath. Hot. I reach both hands down to grab a double handful of his tight little bubble butt, squeezing it and pulling him against me.
I break us apart and turn him around, grabbing his wrists and moving his hands to brace the wall. He holds them there as I move down and undo his belt, pushing his pants down to his ankles and revealing his jock-framed ass to me. I give it another squeeze before delving my fingers into his crack. Once I find his hole, I run a finger over it, feeling the telltale slickness of lube, I press my finger forward just to be sure, and yep, Dave came out here pre-lubed tonight. Perfect, because I did not think to bring any with me.
I spit in my hand and run it over the top half of my dick - that's as good as it's gonna get right now. I step forward, holding my dick in one hand and his ass open with the other. I aim for his hole, rubbing the head of my cock against the slick opening before pushing in. Dave hisses slightly, but doesn't move away. I'm going nice and slow, at least until I'm in there. He's lubed, but less than I usually like for a dick my size.
There are more whimpers and moans as I sink in by inch into Dave's inviting hole. I can see his knuckles are white, his fingers feebly attempting to grab onto the flat wooden wall. I grind my hips into his ass and wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him back to me.
"How you doing, boy?" I whisper in his ear before nibbling it.
"Good, sir." He's trying to steady his breathing. "Maybe gimme a second?"
"Heh, of course boy." I nuzzle his neck and hold myself steady, feeling his hole twitch weakly around my cock.
Lucky for me, I still get to enjoy his tight warm hole while he adjusts. I missed this. Even before Lance, I rarely went more then three days without getting a fuck in somewhere. Two weeks is unheard of. For me, at least. Unconsciously, my dick twitches, pulling a gasp from Dave.
Alright, I think this boy is ready now. I push him back against the wall, with one hand on his shoulder, and the other his hip, I very slowly pull the first few inches of my cock out of his ass. He groans, but doesn't complain. Still not as slick as I want, so I lean back somewhat awkwardly, letting some spit drip down onto my cock, which I then spread with my hand before pushing back in. Mmmm, that's better.
Dave's hesitant whimpers soon turn to confident moans, my dick sliding in and out of him much more easily now. I grip his shoulder tightly before smacking his pert little butt, enjoying the way the skin bounces against my hand. Almost as much as when it bounces off my groin.
"Oh fuck..." Dave mutters to the wood in front of him, starting to push back to meet my thrusts. Good boy.
I move my hand on his shoulder to his hair, giving it a nice tug while I pick up the pace of my pounding. I missed doing this. Just taking a boy in back and fucking his brains out right here. I tug on Dave's hair again while thrusting myself all the way in and holding it there. In response, I see Dave's hand move to his jock pouch, grabbing what's inside.
This feels great. Maybe a little too great. It has been a while since I've even cum - I've jerked off maybe twice this week? I'm not going to last long. Enh, whatever. I'll have plenty of free time now to start pillaging boy's holes again. Dave's just the first.
"You ready for it boy?" I know Dave knows I intend to breed him, but since it's our first time I still feel like I should double check. "Gonna take my load?"
"Fuck, yes sir!" The hand he has in his jock starts moving faster. Good. He's been a good boy, he deserves to cum.
I release his hair, now grabbing him on both sides of his ass. I start to pull him back onto me faster as my pace quickens, and Dave adjusts quickly. I'm staring down, where my cock and his ass meet, watching as my meat is slammed into him over and over. Fuck, I'm gonna--!
"Fuck!" I slam myself forward as the first shot of cum spills into him, holding it there before I pull back to delivery the second, and then third volleys. I can hear myself growling. This is a big fucking load, a few days worth at least, and the next ten or so shallow thrusts are each accompanied by the spilling of an ever decreasing amount of cum, until it feels like only a trickle.
Slowly, as I come back to myself standing behind Dave, I notice his arm pumping at a rapid rate. Remembering why it's pumping like that, I start to thrust steadily forward into Dave. With my still hard cock prodding at his prostate, I soon hear Dave cursing and his hole twitching, nearly pushing me out as he spills his cum into his jock.
With Dave taking his turn catching his breath, I finally look to my left at the entrance to the booth and see that despite my original intentions, we still managed to draw a small crowd. Whatever, everyone enjoyed themselves.
"Alright, shows over." I shoo away the onlookers while I pull out of Dave and he finishes recovering.
"How you feeling boy?" I ask while tucking myself back into my jeans.
"Good, sir." He gives me a little smile as he stretches his limbs before prodding his jock-pouch. "Maybe a little sticky."
"Yeah, you probably don't wanna wear those home." I chuckle. "Thank you for that, boy."
"The pleasure was all mine, sir." Dave leans back against the wall a little awkwardly, taking off his pants so he can remove his jock before sliding them back on.
"Alright, I don't know about you but I think I'm done here for the night." I look up at the night sky, the moon partially obscured by a cloud. "What about you? How'd you get here?"
"I think I'm ready to go too." Dave adjusts and buttons his pants. "Since I thought I was going home with Paul and Rico, I Uber'd."
"Perfect." I reach into my pocket and hand him my keys. "You can drive us back to school." I'm not drunk, but better safe than sorry. I close out my tab with Brady on the way out, making sure to leave him a nice tip.
It's a quiet, short ride back to the school. I think the both of us are thoroughly fucked out. I look over at Dave as he drives, thumping his thumb against the steering wheel in time with the radio. He's a cute, sweet boy. One of those subs who genuinely likes to be useful. Who melts when you tell him he's a good boy. Maybe even a boy I'd give a shot at a being mine, in other circumstances. But that is definitely not in the cards right now.
"Thanks for driving us." I tell him as we near the school. "You can just park near the dorm. I'll walk to the frat house from here and come back to grab it in the morning."
"You sure?" He asks before making the turn towards the dorms.
"Yeah, I don't mind the walk. Lets me clear my head a little." And it's nice and quiet out right now.
"Yeah, I guess frat houses aren't exactly great for quiet contemplation, huh?" Dave turns into the parking lot nearest his dorm, turning into the nearest open spot.
We both exit my car after he parks and shuts off the engine. After taking a sec to make sure nothing is being left in the car, we both get out and get onto the sidewalk.
"Thanks again." I move in and give him a hug. "Had a lot of fun."
"Me too." He smiles, a little sheepishly. He's shy now that we've left the safety of the gay bar. "If I can ever...help you out again, sir, please let me know."
"You got it, boy." I give him a little wink before turning and stepping away, waving goodbye as I go. "Have a good night!"
"You too!" Dave smiles and waves back before making his way inside.
Like I said, it's a nice quiet walk back home. There's not much quiet contemplation though. Just quiet, the wind rustling through the leaves, the chirp of the occasional cricket. No need to ruin a nice night by thinking about sad things. I walk in to a quiet house, and I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow.
I wake up around 10 am the next morning, thankfully hangover free. I owe Brady for cutting me off early. Alright, I've got shit to do today, lets get my car. I hop in the bathroom to brush my teeth, my brain may not have gotten a hangover but my mouth still tastes like one. I run my fingers through my hair and grab my keys on the way out.
It's a Saturday morning, so the campus is fairly quiet. I pass a few runners who must have gotten a late this morning, and I enjoy watch the bouncing dickprints in their nylon shorts, but it's otherwise uneventful as I get to my car. Yep, right where we left it. I unlock the doors as I approach and move towards the driver's side.
As I open my door, I first hear, and then see a slick, black BMW pulling into the parking lot. He doesn't park, but he does block me from pulling out. I'm about to climb in, waiting for this asshole to pull away so I can move, when I see who gets out of the passenger seat.
Lance looking... well, for lack of a better term, well fucked. Hair messy, shirt rumpled like he wore it yesterday, his eyes look tired, and...maybe he's walking a little gingerly? Nah, I'm reading too much into things. But I'm frozen. Lance doesn't notice me for a second, but then...
"Oh." Lance's eyes are wide and he slams the car door quickly. "H-hi."
"Hi." I try to say with as neutral a tone as possible.
The car slowly pulls away. But not before I see who's sitting in the driver's seat. Lance's teammate and member of our frat, Brian. Brian, who has a very satisfied look on his face. Ugh.
'Oh' indeed. I don't quite know what I'm seeing here, but I've got a few guesses. I try not to let the fact that my emotions show on my face. Not sure I'm very successful.
"Sorry I... I gotta go." Lance turns towards the dorm and power-walks his way inside.
I stand there for a moment, numb. Then I think about how I don't need Lance looking out his window and seeing me still here, so I get in my car and pull out. I start driving towards the frat house, but then I just keep going. The numbness soon turns to anger, my knuckles white as my hands almost crush the steering wheel.
I guess he really did want to focus more on the wrestling team. Just not the parts of it I knew about. Did he dump me for that asshole? I thought he hated him. Not enough to not fuck him apparently. Was this going on the whole time? Or did he decide that just before he was done with me? I slam my fist onto my dashboard.
Fuck you, Lance Stevens.